Category: Have A Piece Of My Mind

Here’s another thought that came to my mind as I was lying in bed, contemplating about life while coughing like a lunatic.

I mean I’m sick and I hate being sick. I cough and cough, my voice sounds funny. My throat is so itchy and I have a runny nose.

As I was saying. For most people, they think of me as someone who’s tough. I guess they mean by it is that I am capable of handling anything.

They see me as strict. They see me as someone who doesn’t need anyone’s help when dealing with problems.

I guess it’s my face. I have that tough persona. But to be honest, that’s farther from the truth. I may look tough but sometimes you get drowned by sadness. For my case, I get drowned by extreme anger.

For most people, they experience extreme sadness when they are lonely. For my case, I experience extreme anger. Like for no apparent reason, you get very angry.

And you don’t know why. And because you can make sense of your anger, you get angrier for being angry.

It so hard to explain and it’s even difficult to describe how you feel.

I’m actually afraid to interact with people because of this feeling. I scare people because of this feeling.

I’m not the type to have a bubbling personality and I find small talks boring most of the time.

I have to control my emotion most of the time to prevent people from being afraid of me. BTW, that is so exhausting. It drains me mentally and emotional.

I have to watch what I say, I have to be careful at how I react to things, I have to do this and that. And believe me you, that is so fucking challenging.

Because if I could be the real me in the real world. People would despise me. People would even stay away from me. People would say a lot of bad things about me.

But then again. Even if I’m trying to be nice. People still think ill of me.

It’s not so much that I am afraid people would hate me or stay away from me. It’s about the people who I want to be friends. People who’m I want to have a connection. Those are the people that I am afraid who would stay away and be scared.

Because they’re the connections that haven’t seen the real me.

Only my family and long time friends have seen the real me. And believe me, my long time friends, they’re like stuck with me and they know how to steer clear whenever I’m in mo most unfriendly manner.

Then after a few minutes or hours, they would talk to me again just to check if I’m okay. Just to check if I’m still alive.

For people like me who avoids having a lot of friends. Keeping the connection with my current friends is the most important thing for us.

Because it’s hard for us to connect with other people.

Anyway, it’s just a thought.

You know what I really want employees to have?

Grit, it’s a lost commodity nowadays. People tend to quit or give up easily. Grit something that cannot be taught. Grit for me means, the passion to persevere no matter the odds, no matter the situation and no matter the challenges.

The second thing that I want employees to have is drive. Yes, drive is way better than motivation. Motivation is a fickle behavior and it can go up and down depending on the situation. Whereas drive, it doesn’t matter what the situation is, someone with drive will find a way to make things work. Or even if doesn’t work, he or she will just leave up to experience and do something else or keep doing what he or she is doing. If there’s a roadblock in front of the road, you can always drive around it. go over it or go through it. For me, that’s the meaning of drive.

Motivation is overrated. Be driven instead. – this is what I always tell myself every day.

To bo honest with you folks.

Work has been so busy, there’s so many things that I want to accomplish and things that needs to be done.

I feel like there’s so much that I could do but there’s so little time.

I’m not really complaining. In fact I’m very thankful. I’m thankful that i have a job. I’m thankful that I’m learning a lot and all of the things that I’ve learned are very useful.

Yes, my job is stressful and yes my job is challenging. But it’s not that stressful or challenging that I’m just going to pack my bags and give up.

Fuck that shit. Life is full of challenges and stress. Are you telling me that your just going to give up on life?

There’s so many things to be thankful about. Being alive is one. Having food, clothing and shelter is something to thank for.

If you’re the type of person who only focuses on the negative things in life, then no amount of money, material things or success can makenyou happy. You sad pathetic piece of human anatomy.

So ask yourself, what makes you happy?

As for me, being alone makes me happy.

Being with my friends and family makes me happy.

Being with strangers makes me happy, as long as they leave me alone.

Whenever we face failure, why do we always feel despair? Is that a natural thing? If it’s a natural thing, why do we accept something like that?

Is it because most people were raised that way? Is that the fault of the parents? I personally think it’s our own fault if we feel despair whenever we fail. I think it’s not society’s fault or our community’s fault if we felt despair. It’s a mindset that we have.

failure should never be a bad thing unless it’s a life or death situation, a situation that if you fail, someone loses their life, then you’re screwed.

But even then, even if someone loses their life if you failed, that should still be a learning experience. I think doctor’s do that, it’s not ideal but it happens and because it happens more often, they learn from their failure and make everyone else successful.

Crap! I think I lost my train of thought.. I’m just gonna publish this shit and return later if I remember it.