I like people, but I was raised to only speak when I have to. Or if someone talks to me. And whenever I speak, people always say that I sound angry, even though I’m not. And people always say that my words are insulting, even though I only speak the truth.
So most of the time, I just stay quite because I fear that I might insult people without realizing it.
It’s not easy for me to have a conversation with other people because I’m awkward sometimes. I’m not social like everyone else. I’ve been this way since I was a kid and it’s difficult for me to make friends.
So the friends that I do have, they’re important to me. It means I was able to connect with them somehow. Even my family knows that I’m always quite. I’m always thinking about something.
I keep things to myself because I don’t want to burden anyone about my problems, my issues and my insecurities.
At the age of 14, I became the man of the house when my father died. I get to decide what to do or how to do things. My mother would always ask me how we’re going to handle things.
Can you imagine a 14 year old kid deciding the fate of our family. I was a kid, I was supposed to do what teenagers do. But I didn’t have time for that. I had to grow up fast and be an adult and look for a job and be a man.
It’s not something that I would wish for anyone to experience. I’ve had a lot of hardships in life. I’ve been carrying a huge weight for so long that sometimes I’m amazed that I made it this far in life.
Some people think that my life is great. You guys have no idea what I had to endure. The sacrifices that I made.
Well, life is shitty. I read somewhere before that it’s not about the problem, it’s how you deal with it, that’s important.
Or something along those lines.
Welcome to the life of a Sad Clown 